CH-Ch-Changes

My struggles come as if the world is crashing down on me because I've been living in my own comfort for too long. What is weird about an ache is you don't know the source. Like a cut or a bruise, there could have been a fall, a stumble or a missed step. In life, there may be a parent, brother/sister, enemy or untrue friend who causes pain. I do admit of a deep ache I feel that constantly reminds me of how lonely I am. There's only one person outside my family that I've ever fully trusted with my heart. I no longer belong to this one person, nor does he belong to me. As far as I know, the ache just has to fade... or better yet... BE REPLACED. (Yes, I had to type it in screaming bold letters!) I long for a new sense of connection and belonging to overwhelm me and I have stepped out to do my part. There is this person I really like now, so I just might as well, ya, step out.

Exposed. Brought to light. Uncovered. Vulnerable.
Go big. Go deep.
And sing!
Heartbeat racing? Use it.
Feel the rhythm? Play it.
Go louder and stronger.
Fill the room.
...and ENJOY.

Hard to regain myself at times with my problems, my issues, my mistakes, the ways they do not know me, the parts they may not accept of me, their disloyalty... How can I trust them? I'm usually only afraid. It's like you can't breathe. It's like you can't see. It's like you can't find anything to hold on to. It's sad how people are constantly coming and going, but it's also amazing how there could be a person who comes in to change your life a little bit into something more beautiful.

It's like finding freedom. I thank YOU. I think of you now with a smile on my face and funny feelings I still cannot comprehend.