"Antidote" is taking over my life

I went through a lot of emotional pain and have been basically learning how to hate. Hate is such a strong word and such a strong feeling. I despised the feeling because it made me feel like it wasn't myself and I was just going along with the hateful world around me. It is said that going along with this world is learning how to survive it. I've tried to go along with this world, but all it did was make me unhappy and make me more hateful.

I couldn't fail miserably and be pissed at the world for the rest of my life. Maybe patience does really pay off in the end.

Antidote (my band now) came along like a gift from God. I have seen them perform once about a year ago and it just so happened that now, I am the newest member. It is the coolest thing ever. They are very special to me now not only because I admire them for their wide range of musicality, but also for accepting me despite of how unexperienced I am, and even more for being a bunch of VERY nice people that I now call friends. I've had a few awkward moments with them on- and off-stage, but they never made me feel the pressure. I am very lucky and thankful. It's going to take a lot of work and determination and I promise not to let the band down.

I feel like I came a long way with my emotions and what I've been through. I've grown up, but I have a lot more to grow up to. I'm not perfect. I'm not the best. But all I can say is that I'm happy.

I'm happy now. I'm really really happy with the people who are in my life right now, no matter what I can't forget...